Shitty

Last night I was in so much pain. My head hurt so bad it felt like someone was trying to mash a softball or 2 through my eye and forehead. My joints felt like they were trying to give up and just shatter as I tried to lay still and finish watching raw. I had shooting pains in my legs,sides,arms and neck. Even after the soever,aspirin and endorphine rush I was still in way too much pain. Then I stayed up later than planned discussing/arguing/talking.(not a big deal I enjoy talking to him before going to sleep). After knowing all that,knowing I was in pain,and didn't feel good,he has the nerve to become obtuse with me this morning.

I understand that I do usualy wake up when he does to make him coffee and smoke a cigarette with him before he goes to work. This morning I wasn't even sure If i was going to be able to get up for my morning trip to the restroom let alone make coffee.

I didn't talk Much this morning. I was struggling to wake up. It felt like an impossible battle to even keep my eyes open let alone talk or make coffee. I understand when people need coffee. It was a household rule growing up to not ask my mother for anything until she had had at least 2cups of coffee. But if its such a necessity don't you think you could have put your big boy or big girl pants on and made it yourself?

All I think to myself is "yess massta I bees a good ninja". Bad reference but I don't care right now. Its almost 7am and I'm laying in bed pissed off, hurt, and half way offended. Not only did I apparently do something wrong I received one of those sarcastic "Thanks for the coffee" before he left. Oh trust me, if I wasn't mad at you when you woke me up, after saying that shit,you can bet your ass that I'm mad now. I'm mad enough that the throbbing in my knee and pain in my hip bone,head,eyes, and ear are not the only things keeping me up this morning. I almost wanted to be a spiteful,hateful girlfriend and go make some coffee now that my ass is laying here mad upset and in pain. All because I didn't wake up when he wanted me up to make him some coffee.

Not even coffee that requires a coffee pot, filters or anything extravagant. That's right folks instant coffee. Heat up some water,add a little milk or creamer and sugar(I add sugar and nesquick chocolate) then add coffee crystals and stir. I make it kinda backwards I guess but he drinks it so it much be at least ordinarily good.

We shall see how this day turns out. Its already off to a shitty start. I hope it doesn't end the same way.

Not My Dirty Laundry

I can't be quiet about it anymore. If you are planning on getting married to someone, don't you think you guys should be together longer than a year before getting married? I understand older people who have been married before, who have been around the block and have some common sense and knowledge under their belt getting married within or after a year. I know a couple that did this. I though it was stupid when they decided it but i was supportive because it wasn't my place to bitch or throw a fit, but....I'm airing out the dirty laundry. I wont use names but I'm done keeping it all inside and pretending to be OK with it.

What is marriage anyway? A piece of paper? A ring u wear on a specific finger?

I'm not anti-marriage. I want to get married one day, but I don't want to rush into it.

According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Now remind me again why everyone is in such a rush to get married??

Marriage is not something to be played with.

Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

When you say "I do" After being asked whats above its a vow. Its not just words u agree to. Once these are said and you get your marriage license that doesn't mean you can get pissed off at your spouse and just up and decide to leave. You don't grab your stuff and disappear for a week and come back saying your sorry. You don't leave and say you want a divorce 3, 4, or 5 times within a year and then cry that he didn't fight for you, or make a scene for you. You are the ignorant one who decided to leave. You suck it up and work it out, you suck it up and deal with it. "running is the only thing i know" is not an excuse, it's a cop-out.

The fact that you left the first time, or even the second time shows that you are not serious about the commitment or the relationship.You hurt not only your spouse but everyone involved, their family, your family etc.Then after giving the final "I'm done i want a divorce" come crawling back and forth between your husband and an ex. By doing that you give your spouse the right to divorce you because you were unfaithful.

Weeks go by and things start to go bad with your ex, what do you do? You crawl back into your spouses life causing a tragic and heart wrenching incident that puts your spouses entire family on edge. Not just the family in the state but those out of state as well. "I didn't cause it" BULLSHIT!! You were talking to him about what happened. All of the bad. Putting all of the blame on him instead of on yourself. Its not shock that his family didn't want you informed, or there by his side.

Why would you be by his side? "Because he is my husband". Now he is, after he ends up in danger and fighting for his life. Why wasn't he your husband when you were banging your ex? Why wasn't he your husband when the thought of leaving came to mind? Why wasn't he your husband when you lied to everyone about living with your family when you left? He wasn't. You were using him, playing with his emotions. He cared more than you will ever know and more than he will ever show and you threw that away.

I know she will be pissed that i wrote this, but like she said to me "I was honest". I'm being honest now when I say the only reason I am nice to you, still talk to you or even kept you informed was because of a promise i made, and because of my dad. I promised if you two split up we would still be friends and against my better judgement i stayed your friend. Even when the only reason you talked to me was to ask questions about him. The only reason i kept you informed was because my dad told me to.

I find out they are getting back together. "This time till death". Isn't that the same promise you made when you got married? We will see how long it lasts this time.

Anyone reading please think about your choices. Getting married is not just something between you and the other person. It affects everyone around you, kids, friends, and family.

100 yr Old Couple

In China on December 28th of 2012 Shi Sifan and his wife Liu Yaogu celebrated their 100th birthdays. They have been together for 78 years and were born on the same day. 

Of course in China there are many people who are close to or are 100 yrs old. China even passed a law saying that people are to visit and care for their older family members. Shi Sifan and Liu Yaogu live with their family, right down to the great great grandchildren.

There's no doubt that i will be visiting and caring for my parents when they are old and cant do it themselves and they will see their grandchildren on a regular basis.

I don't think there could ever be a law in the US that stated we had to go visit and care for our elders. It just wouldn't happen. It would be another law broken by many that would just crown the prison system.

I can see it now:
"And why, Mr.Smith have you not visited your parents? Why haven't you been taking care of them?"

Then there's the fact that they have been together for 78 years. 78 YEARS!! How many couples now a days can say they were together 78 years? Look around! all of the couples you see now, do you honestly think they will be together 78 years from now? Also how many people around you will live to be 100? Not many. 

I honestly believe that every couple i see when i look around, or look on Facebook, or anywhere else for that matter, will not be together in 78 years. I'm in a relationship and i can't say that we will be together in 78 years.(I sure as hell hope we are though)

I like seeing older couples who have been together for 30+ years. My generation thinks that being with someone for a few years is a huge accomplishment. I know baby mama's who have stayed with their man for more than a few years. It doesn't mean anything. 

You want to see an actual relationship? See what actual love looks like?

Look at this couple, look at the couples who have been together for 30, 40+ years and are still happy. You can see it by the way they look at each other. It's the look  as if they haven't aged one bit. They look at each other in amazement as if they were still young kids who just started dating.

I applaud this couple and their achievement. I also want to wish them both a Happy 100th Birthday. I hope they spend many more years together. :) 

Happy New Year

Well, its been a another year. 2012 is almost gone but the memories will last a lifetime.
The memories we created this past year, whether good or bad are what we should use for this next year. Utilize the good memories to create better ones,and  the bad memories to avoid creating more like them. Some memories, and events that took place are unpreventable and will happen whether ot not you want them to.

If you lost a loved one in 2012, do not dwell on the hurt, the pain or the sadness. Rejoice. Your loved one is free. Free of pain and suffering. They ARE in a better place now. It's difficult to understand let alone accept, but we have to see the bigger picture. They are needed elsewhere. Don't think of their passing as a punishment from God. I see losing a loved one as a test from God. He tests us all in mysterious ways, whether it's your strength, or your ability to comfort those who need it most. Do not dwell, rejoice. Your loved one wouldn't want to see you hurting inside.

If you brought a new life into the world in 2012, this is just the beginning. There are many things coming your way in 2013. The many milestones to look forward to. Remember to kiss and love on your bundle of joy every chance that you get. Even if they don't understand, talk to them, tell them how much they mean to you, how they are a blessing to you, and how much you love them.

If you ended a relationship in 2012 (i mean long term not "oh well we dated for a week"), don't let that get you down. There are many many more people out there. I'm not going with the "there's more fish in the sea blah blah". It's BS!The way i see it you are in control of your standards, you cant chose to say "no, he/she isn't good enough" or "I deserve better". Take a stand, hold your ground. I remember what my Uncle Raymond (God rest his soul) and my Uncle JR told me and i'm passing the same advice onto you "Don't ever settle for less than what you feel you deserve".

If you changed your relationship status to "In a Relationship" (Again, talking long term), good for you. Enjoy that person, enjoy the little things, Whether that means an inside joke, a silly face, or even a manor-ism or a certain word they say. Don't rush into the I Love You's. Just take each day as it comes and remember there is a reason you are with this person. "If you press me to say why I love him, I can say no more than Because he was he, and I was I"

If you were alone in 2012 and will be alone in 2013, good for you. Its nothing to be ashamed of, or to feel down about. You are content with yourself and see you don't need anyone to complete you or anyone to take care of you but you. It shows your independence and you ability to be happy by yourself. If you are unhappy alone then be social. It doesn't mean you have to go out and find someone to be with, it just means you might need to get together with friends more often, or go out to social places to meet new people. Maybe you could travel around. Travel your state, your country or other countries, but don't ever feel ashamed or down about being by yourself.

2012 was just another year of ups and downs. Friendships made and friendships lost. To put it in words i'm going to borrow from my god sister Jaime. She Posted:

New years eve, a day to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. A day to remember the good times and the bad, to remember the people who never left your side when things got rough. To remember are promises made and broken. To forgive and forget the people that hurt you. To be thankful that you made it another year. But most importantly to be excited that your getting a fresh start, another chance to get things right. Cause that's what new years is all about getting another chance to do more, to be more, and to love more. 

It's nothing short of the truth. Keep your head up and prepare for the New Year. Don't hold onto past grudges, don't hold onto hatred. Let it all go. In 2013 you will face many more challenges and surprises in your life that holding onto the past will just weigh you down.

I hope everyone, no matter where you are , has an amazing New Years Eve, and an even better New Year. :D

Oh, and on another note, everyone who will be drinking on New Years Eve, Please DON'T DRINK & DRIVE!!   ------ >>>