Not My Dirty Laundry

I can't be quiet about it anymore. If you are planning on getting married to someone, don't you think you guys should be together longer than a year before getting married? I understand older people who have been married before, who have been around the block and have some common sense and knowledge under their belt getting married within or after a year. I know a couple that did this. I though it was stupid when they decided it but i was supportive because it wasn't my place to bitch or throw a fit, but....I'm airing out the dirty laundry. I wont use names but I'm done keeping it all inside and pretending to be OK with it.

What is marriage anyway? A piece of paper? A ring u wear on a specific finger?

I'm not anti-marriage. I want to get married one day, but I don't want to rush into it.

According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Now remind me again why everyone is in such a rush to get married??

Marriage is not something to be played with.

Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

When you say "I do" After being asked whats above its a vow. Its not just words u agree to. Once these are said and you get your marriage license that doesn't mean you can get pissed off at your spouse and just up and decide to leave. You don't grab your stuff and disappear for a week and come back saying your sorry. You don't leave and say you want a divorce 3, 4, or 5 times within a year and then cry that he didn't fight for you, or make a scene for you. You are the ignorant one who decided to leave. You suck it up and work it out, you suck it up and deal with it. "running is the only thing i know" is not an excuse, it's a cop-out.

The fact that you left the first time, or even the second time shows that you are not serious about the commitment or the relationship.You hurt not only your spouse but everyone involved, their family, your family etc.Then after giving the final "I'm done i want a divorce" come crawling back and forth between your husband and an ex. By doing that you give your spouse the right to divorce you because you were unfaithful.

Weeks go by and things start to go bad with your ex, what do you do? You crawl back into your spouses life causing a tragic and heart wrenching incident that puts your spouses entire family on edge. Not just the family in the state but those out of state as well. "I didn't cause it" BULLSHIT!! You were talking to him about what happened. All of the bad. Putting all of the blame on him instead of on yourself. Its not shock that his family didn't want you informed, or there by his side.

Why would you be by his side? "Because he is my husband". Now he is, after he ends up in danger and fighting for his life. Why wasn't he your husband when you were banging your ex? Why wasn't he your husband when the thought of leaving came to mind? Why wasn't he your husband when you lied to everyone about living with your family when you left? He wasn't. You were using him, playing with his emotions. He cared more than you will ever know and more than he will ever show and you threw that away.

I know she will be pissed that i wrote this, but like she said to me "I was honest". I'm being honest now when I say the only reason I am nice to you, still talk to you or even kept you informed was because of a promise i made, and because of my dad. I promised if you two split up we would still be friends and against my better judgement i stayed your friend. Even when the only reason you talked to me was to ask questions about him. The only reason i kept you informed was because my dad told me to.

I find out they are getting back together. "This time till death". Isn't that the same promise you made when you got married? We will see how long it lasts this time.

Anyone reading please think about your choices. Getting married is not just something between you and the other person. It affects everyone around you, kids, friends, and family.